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Another Birthday Month

Another Birthday Month

H. Bradford

2/28/18

Well, February is ending.  This means that my favorite month is almost over!  I feel a little sad, as usually I meet February with such enthusiasm.  I often have a long “to do” list of birthday activities.  This month, I have found myself feeling sluggish, with less zeal for living.  There were some days that I felt downright depressed.  However, I still did my best to make the most of the month and celebrate my birthday in smaller ways.   This is fine.  Sometimes a celebration can look more like hibernation and the best gift is solitude and sleep.  With that said, it was a pretty low key birthday month.  Here are some of the highlights….


 

Sax Zim Birding Days:

On February 3rd, I braved the slippery roads and headed to the Sax Zim Bog to do some birding.  I was even able to convince Adam to come along with me.  Although the day was probably a bit long for him, I had a fun time.  We drove around and visited several bird feeders.  I even saw two new species of birds: snow buntings and Bohemian Waxwings.  I almost missed the Bohemian Waxwings, but happened to turn my binoculars to a tree.  I assume at first that they were Cedar Waxwings.  The two birds look pretty similar.  However, I grabbed my bird guide and was pleasantly surprised to see that the birds had a rusty coloration under their tails.  This meant that they were Bohemian Waxwings.  There are only three species of waxwings in the world (the other is the Japanese Waxwing).  There is always something magical about identifying a new species of bird for the first time.  There are many birds that I will confuse or forget, but I think I will always remember the plump and rusty Bohemian Waxwing.   As for snowbuntings, I have seen these birds before- but not since I began birding a few years ago.  So, they were a target species this year.   I have driven around looking for them throughout the winter, but finally spotted a huge flock of them.  They were too quick and white to photograph (as they blended into the field pretty well).

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The birds were pretty far away so the photo quality is not awesome.


On February 5th, I returned to the bog alone and added two more birds that day.  I was fortunate enough to find that a flock of Sharp-tailed grouse were active in the early morning.  Later in the day, I moved on to Virginia, where I found a lone Canvasback duck.  Both were new to the list.  I also believe that I saw a Boreal owl as I was driving through Cotton, but I did not have time to stop as I was on a main highway.  Thus, I was unable to add that bird to my list.

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Since those dates, I have done some birding elsewhere, but have been unable to find any new species of birds.  I have been trying to spot a long tailed duck and a spruce grouse- haunting HWY 2 and Agate Bay in Two Harbors.  My field trips have yielded nothing, but with some days off in the near future- perhaps I will find them.  Of course, birding isn’t about adding new birds to a list.  This is “listing.”  There is joy in seeing familiar birds and becoming better at identifying what is already known.  But, as a person who likes lists and obtains a sense of accomplishment from setting goals- adding to the list motivates me to go out more often.   This weekend, I will make my final winter visit to the bog when I go snowshoeing there with my mother.  This is how we celebrated my birthday last year (even though this runs into March…escaping the neat borders of my birthday month).

 


Bird Feeders:

One of the outcomes of visiting the Sax Zim Bog on February 3rd with Adam was that we were both impressed with how people living in the bog area set up public bird feeders.  These individuals welcome people to view birds on their property.  Feeders such as Mary Lou’s and Loretta’s attract both birds, but also large groups of strangers.  It is inspiring to see people open up their yards to strangers.  They also invest a lot of their time and money into maintaining these feeders which benefit both birds and people.  I wish that more communities broke down the barriers between private and common spaces.   This is something that the Solidarity House tries to do by offering a free garden, free books, as well as a variety of free goods on our porch.   After we returned from the bog, we decided to set up more bird feeders in our front yard.  I purchased two feeders and Adam purchased one.  I also bought some more suet.

Our efforts have regularly attracted birds to the yard.  Although we do not have a huge diversity of species in our small yard, we regularly have several cardinals visit the feeders.  I have also seen black capped chickadees, a white throated sparrow, white breasted nuthatches, a downy woodpecker, and dark eyed juncos in the yard.  I enjoy looking out the window and watching these birds.   While this isn’t an elaborate way to spend my birthday month, I will say that I have enjoyed my quiet moments at the window.   Holly, my roommate Elizabeth’s cat, also enjoys these moments.

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Owl Tattoo:

Another bird related highlight of the month was getting a new tattoo.  I reached my 300th bird in February, so I decided to get a new tattoo.  I determined that the new tattoo would be a snowy owl, as this was the first bird that I saw in 2018 and the last one I saw in 2017.  It has been an irruption year for snowy owls, so there have been more than usual in my area.  I had not seen one before this year, so seeing them several times this winter has been special.  I felt that the snowy owl was a good choice since it represents this year (due to more being around) and winter in general.  I also thought that the white contrasted well with the black of my raven tattoo.  Although the birds have different shapes, I wanted two birds that at least had a sort of imperfect symmetry with one another.

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Painting:

Another activity that I have engaged in this month is painting.  I have no training in painting or in art in general, but I have always liked creating art from time to time.  This month, I wanted to create a piece of art for an upcoming feminist art show called WTF!   So, I created a painting about how capitalism depends upon the bodies of women to function.  It is a little graphic, but it is meant to convey the idea that the reproductive power of women is used to create the next generation of workers.  Of course, the unpaid care work done by women also ensures the continuation of the working class.  The art show will begin on March 8th and it is my first time participating in a public art show!   The same day that I painted that piece, I also painted the windows of the Solidarity House to look like a forest.  I had promised Adam that I would do this a long time ago, but forgot all about it until recently.  We had several ovenbirds crash against the window and die last fall.  By painting the windows with a scene, we thought we might break up the empty space and prevent bird fatalities next year.   Additionally, I am trying to create a second painting for another feminist art show at UW-Superior.  The piece will also have a labor and feminism theme.  Finally, Jenny wants me to create a painting for an auction that Critter Harbor is hosting.  Critter Harbor is an organization that traps and neuters feral cats.  These cats are returned to the outdoors, but are provided with food and water.  Some may be rehabilitated and adopted.  I think this is all exciting, since it pushes me out of my comfort zone.  I know I am not a great artist.  I know I have a lot of room to improve.  However, I think that I should not be limited by self-doubt or imperfection.  If I want to paint, I should paint- skill or no skill.

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Trivia:

Every other Thursday for the past year, I have done trivia at Pizza Luce with a group of friends.  We usually do okay, but not often well enough to place.  On February 15th, we gathered for trivia again.  I wasn’t going to attend since I was dead tired from working for nine days in a row and nearly 95 hours.   It had been a hard day, I was extremely sleep deprived (I had slept about 3 hrs between a 10 hr shift and a shorter 4.5 hr shift and about 3 hrs before the 10 hr shift the day prior).  Somehow I pulled myself together enough to show up for trivia with my friends.  Well, we actually won first place at trivia- out of 24 teams.  I am glad to be friends with a bunch of smarty pants!

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Sleeping:

I am going to be honest and say that I have had a very strong drive to sleep this month- though this drive has not always resulted in actual sleep.   The drive to sleep has increased since the middle of the month.  On my actual birthday, I skipped an activist meeting so that I could get a little extra sleep before my 10 hour shift.  I don’t think I actually got any extra sleep, but it was nice to just stay in bed.  This week, there have been days were I have done little more than sleep, eat, and work.   Like usual, I am working an 8 day stretch of 10 hour shifts, followed by a bonus 9th day with a shorter shift.  I have typically had a high tolerance for work and moderate lack of sleep, but lately- not so much.   I slept 14 hours on one of my days off last week.   I have been taking power naps during my 30 min work break.   But, winter has been long.  February has been cold and we had three snowstorms in the past week alone.   Since I do have some very busy days, I think I am okay with allowing myself to indulge in sleep.


 

Activism:

Like every month, there is always a schedule of activist events.  This month, I have stepped back a little.  Nevertheless, some activist highlights of the month include a union steward training and getting elected to the E-board of my union local.  Another highlight was a small, but meaningful discussion on feminism and non-binary gender.  On February 10th, I participated in a Valentine’s Themed Letters to Prisoners event.  It was a fun event where several local activists sent Valentine Cards to prisoners.  Socialist Action organized a modest rally for Immigrant Rights.  This was followed by our monthly Socialism and Slice discussion group.  The discussion group has grown so large that we will have to seek out another venue.  I am also excited to help out with HOTDISH Militia’s Bowl-a-thon.   Yeah, I will say that this month I was much less engaged in political activism.  Usually, I have far more meetings and events to attend.  But, one my New Year’s Resolutions was to step back a little.

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Overeating:

I ate too much this month.  The downside of my birthday month is that I justify going out to eat with the line….Well, it’s my birthday month!  I ate a lot of Mexican food.  I treated myself to sushi and green tea tempura ice cream.  I had Indian food.  I really don’t want to think about how much I treated myself in the form of food.  It is little wonder that I have ended the month a little chubbier.  Now, as a feminist I should be fat positive.  I should allow myself to take up space, fully enjoy life, and not sweat my size.  That isn’t the case.  While I don’t obsess about it and have come to terms with the fact that I won’t be a thin as I was in my 20s, I am not a huge fan of the scale going in an upward direction.  On the other hand, I sure did enjoy all that Mexican food.   I guess March can be a month of moderation…


 

Zumba and a Sauna:

I wasn’t as physically active as I would have liked to have been this past month.  But, I at least took time to attend a zumba class and take a sauna.  Zumba is really a fun way to engage in fitness.  As for taking a sauna, I think it feels so primal and rejuvenating.


Hiking:

One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to make sure that I hike, bike, run, kayak, etc. 365 miles this year.  I don’t think it will be that hard of a task, but it is not something I have ever actively tracked before.  Right now, I am behind on my miles.  But, February was both cold and snowy.  I ended up with fewer miles in February than in frigid January.  As of today, I have hiked about 47 miles in February and January combined.  Usually, these are pretty mild three mile jaunts.  Because I was falling behind this month, I was going to try to do five miles- in a snow storm last week.  This did not pan out.  It was cold.  Snow whipped my face.  The wind was wicked.  I made it about two miles total.   This snow storm was followed by two other snowstorms later in the week.  While I should have 59 miles by the end of the month to keep on track, I will likely end the month 10 miles behind.

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Birthday Party:

I had a low key birthday party on February 17th.  Years ago, in my late 20s, I would host giant, extravagant birthday parties with pinatas and trivia.   For the most part, I have smaller, less involved parties in recent years- if anything at all.  I already do a lot of planning and preparation for Marxmas, so I have lost the energy to host two large parties so close to one another.   But, honestly it was nice to hang out with a few people without a whole lot to do.  Jenny hosted an Arbonne Party for her birthday in January.  I actually did the same this year- since I wanted the free protein powder (which costs $60 a bag in their catalog).  Yep, so I had a product presentation themed party.  This was an unusual choice, but it wasn’t bad.  We had some snacks, soaked are feet, and listened to a presentation about products that I don’t NEED but somehow felt compelled to buy because well…it’s my birthday.   I think that “it’s my birthday” can be a bit of a dangerous mantra- since it has encouraged me to be excessive all month….

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Airfare:

I worked on my actual birthday, but one thing that I did on my birthday for myself (aside from sleeping) was book my flight to Romania.   I will be visiting Romania in late August, spending some time in Romania, Moldova, Macedonia (with a day trip to Kosovo), and then ending in Iceland before heading home.  I am trying to hit a few European countries that I have not yet visited- but I think that all of them will be interesting.  I will be gone for about three weeks.  I am excited for an adventure in the lands of Ceausescu, Vlad the Impaler, break away semi-autonomous states, the social construction of Alexander the Great, and geothermal wonders.


 

Black Panther:

Another highlight of the month was seeing Black Panther with Dan.  I love Marvel movies, even if they are predictable and cautious.  Black Panther was unique in that it was set in Africa with few white characters.  It had great costumes, engaging characters, and a story line that wrestled with racism and colonization.  Now, I would like to write a longer review.  I will say that I wasn’t satisfied with the political conclusion that the best bet is to work within system to uplift the oppressed through charitable institutions.  I felt that the character Killmonger had some great lines and was far more politically relateable than a princely and privileged isolationist (or was until the conclusion of the film).  Killmonger wanted to arm the oppressed- even though his vision of revolution also involved an expansion of Wakanda as an empire.  That is the annoying thing about Magneto/Killmonger type characters is that revolutionary philosophies of liberation are often coupled with authoritarianism/supremacy in comic book movies.  There are many visions of how to overthrow systems of oppression and radically alter society- yet so few are represented.  It creates a villainous strawman out of radical politics.  Oh, and another very annoying aspect of the movie was the fact that the CIA character was a good guy!  Come on!   The Wakandan characters are very aware of colonization and slavery, but somehow the United States- and the the CIA no less, ends up playing a heroic role.  Never mind the assassination of Patrice Lamumba, support of the coup against Kwame Nkrumah, support of Mbutu Sese Seko, assisting in the arrest of Nelson Mandela, fighting MPLA in Angola, supporting the overthrow of Gadaffi in Libya, etc.  But this was a Marvel movie and these tend to fetishize secretive organizations (i.e S.H.I.E.L.D) and align the good guys with America.  Still, I did enjoy the movie and I don’t want to take away the joy that Africans and African Americans have experienced by seeing positive representations of Africa and Black people.  Also, I did enjoy the movie and feel it is one of the better films in the Marvel universe.


Conclusion:

Well, there you go, that was my birthday month.  There were some positive things, such as fun times with loved ones, birding, painting, visions of travel, time spent outdoors, trivia, and activism.  There were some not as positive aspects of the month, such as over-eating and sleeping too much/too little.  Looking back, I think I made the most of my month without exhausting myself trying to zealously seize each day.  Yes, there is a limited amount of time in a lifespan.  Birthdays are a good reminder of that.  But, I guess if from time to time, I want to just spend a whole day in bed or eat Mexican food three days in a row- that’s okay too.   It would be cool if I ran 4 miles on my birthday or did one celebratory thing each day of the month- but that would be exhausting.  Despite some lows, I think the month had a good balance of fun, friends, work, and hiding from the world.

My Favorite Birthday Memories

 

My Favorite Birthday Memories

H. Bradford

2/12/17

  As I was in bed today, my mind drifted through some of my favorite birthday memories.  There are so many good times.  I thought about my childhood and the many birthday parties that my parents hosted for me.  I thought about some of the parties that I’ve hosted for myself as an adult.  I really do enjoy my birthday.  Here are some of those memories.


Childhood Roller Skating Party:

I remember when I was in the 4th grade or so, my mother organized a roller skating party for me at the roller rink in McGregor, MN.  I don’t even remember who was there or any of the gifts that I received.  I imagine that Libby was there.  I think I remember Tonya and Kym.  I am sure there was pizza and pitchers of fountain soda.  It is all pretty foggy now.  One thing I do remember was that I wore these hideous turquoise elephant pants.  Even though bell bottom pants had been out of style for a few decades, I somehow thought that they were super cool.  I thought that they looked even cooler swaying side to side while roller skating.   I had a strong and bizarre sense of style as a kid.  In any event, I remember feeling pretty darn cool wearing those pants.  I also owned my own roller skates.  They were white with pink pompoms.  Again…super cool.

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Birthday Dinners with the Wallis:

Each year for my birthday, my grandpa Walli would take the family out for a celebratory dinner.  We would often go to a supper club or “older person” restaurants.  Each year, I ordered a hamburger and French fries.  It was my favorite.  It also became a bit of a joke, since the adults would order walleye or steak, but I wanted just an ordinary burger.  I remember one year had been very hard on my family.  I believe that my father was laid off of work that winter so money was pretty tight.  I remember that we ate potatoes and eggs.  To my childhood brain, it felt like we ate potatoes and eggs for the whole winter.  Perhaps it was only a week.  Maybe it was for a few weeks.  I only remember that we ate a lot of potatoes and eggs that winter.   When my birthday arrived, it was really wonderful to go out for my birthday meal….since it was a relief from potatoes and eggs.  It seems like everything got better after that.  We ate other things or I don’t remember eating so many potatoes and eggs.  Thus, that is how I remember my birthday that winter.  It was when things got better.  Really, I still frame my birthday that way.  By February 12th, it seems that winter is not as dark and harsh.  It has always been the beginning of the end of winter for me.

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“Birthday” in Korea:

I visited South Korea in 2010 through a study abroad program at UWS.  The program did not begin until late February.  As such, I didn’t actually spend my birthday in Korea.  Still, for some reason everyone thought it would be a fun idea if we pretended that it was my birthday.  We did this for others as well.  Thus, we went to a pizza place and pretended that it was my birthday.  We somehow obtained a small cake and everyone sang happy birthday.  Why me?  Why my birthday?  I was the least fun and social person out of the bunch.  I dream about bird identification.  This is all very silly, but that weekend has become a birthday memory.  So, while I didn’t do those activities for my actual birthday, I remember going to Seoul,  eating pizza, eating cake,  wearing animal costumes, going to a photo booth and wearing a red wig, and a group of people singing happy birthday to me.  I am not sure if all of these things actually happened on the same weekend even!  But, it seems suiting that my fake birthday would have a fake memory.

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Birthday in Ireland:

Many eons ago, I also studied abroad in Ireland.  I don’t think that my roommates there cared for me much, but they did find me an ice cream cake for my birthday.  This was a pretty amazing feat since ice cream cakes are not that common and our program was based in a small town in County Mayo.  I remember that everyone went out that night to celebrate my birthday.  They offered to buy me drinks, which consisted of diet coke, since I am a teetotaler.  Thus, everyone got drunk on my behalf, or at least used that as an excuse for drinking.  Still, it was a fun time.  I got free diet cokes and an ice cream cake.


The Epic Birthday of 2011:

I used to host large parties for my birthday.  I think that one of the most epic parties that I hosted was the party of 2011.  That year, I subjected my friends to a long march of birthday celebrating.  The celebrations began with snowshoeing at Jay Cooke State Park.  I remember that unlikely people, such as my mom and Adam, joined me on this trek.  My mom was proud that she kept up with the “youngsters” on her first snowshoe adventure.  Adam still complains that he hates snowshoeing.   Next on the all day intermarry, was a stop at Mexico Lindo in Cloquet.  I love Mexican food.  I had a fun time.  The fun was bolstered by the fact that I got to wear a black sombrero while the staff sang happy birthday to me.  Oh, but the fun didn’t end there.  Nope!  Next on the agenda was a private showing at the planetarium.  The birthday party was treated to a show at the planetarium, though I am not sure what the topic was now.  Finally, the party ended back in Superior with an astronomy lecture from Kris Nelson, a cosmic ice cream cake, trivia, and animal costumes.  Why did my friends subject themselves to dawn to dusk birthday celebrations?  Why the marathon of Mexican food, astronomy, and snowshoeing?  Who knows.  But, this was probably the best birthday ever.  It also marked the last mega birthday party of my adult life.  After that year, I moved to Mankato for grad school.  Mike moved to the cities and is now married with a family.  Carl also moved for grad school.  I think this party marked the end of an era in my life.  Which is fine.  Everything changes.  It is a lot of effort and energy to create such as massive celebration.  Still, it was a fun time.


Other Adult Birthday Parties:

In 2007, I began hosting birthday parties for myself.  I had been depressed for many years.  In fact, I lost a few years of my life to depression.  Well, in 2007, depression was finally losing its grip on me.  As such, I wanted to celebrate and make up for those years I lost to feeling unmotivated and isolated.  2007 marked the debut of my birthday parties.  The first party was a roller skating party followed by trivia and snacks.  I learned that although roller skating was fun as a child, it was terrifying as an adult.  The next year, I hosted a party at Carnival Thrillz, followed by trivia and snacks at my place in Superior.  I learned that most adults are not that into laser tag and mini golf, as the party was not well attended.  The following two years featured hotel pool parties.  These were pretty fun.  I have a fond memory of my birthday party in 2010, since this was also a farewell party.  I was going to leave for Asia for six months.  So, it was a way to say goodbye to my friends for a while.  This was a fun party, but like the party in 2011, it marked the end of an era.   Vanessa moved away later that year.  Rose was in China.  Flappy, my pet squirrel, was left behind, never to be seen again.


Birthday 2016:

This party was unique since it was my only adult birthday party which I didn’t plan myself.  As such, it was pretty low key, which is great.  I liked that I didn’t have to do any food prep, party decorating, inviting, or planning.  Adam and Jenny took care of that.  The birthday was pretty fun.  We played games.  Jenny made a giant cupcake.  We sang a special song to mark the cutting of the cake with a cheese knife (Oh, Holey Knife).  As a general rule, almost all of my birthday celebrations feature a piñata, singing, and trivia.

Childhood Birthday Parties:

My parents always tried to make my birthday special.  When I was in the second grade, they took my friends and I to Bridgeman’s in Floodwood, MN.  Again, I ate a burger and fries.  I also had a hot fudge ice cream sundae.  I was a pretty silly kid, so I invented a song called “Mr. Bubblegum.”   I have a long history of making up songs at my parties (the piñata song and Oh Holey Knife).    I remember a valentine themed party, wherein everyone received gift bags.  The bags included pens with removable heart shaped caps.  I remember we played trivia at this birthday party, but I wanted MORE trivia, so I began quizzing my friends on Greek mythology.  I think my mother even made a scavenger hunt for us outside.  She also made heart decorations which she put on the living room mirror with some streamers.   I can’t remember when I stopped having birthday parties as a child.  I suppose they became less elaborate affairs after my parents divorced.  I had few friends in Cambridge/Isanti, though my mother did take a few of us to the Mall of America one year.  In any event, I always enjoyed my birthday.   I enjoy the Valentine’s Day theme, the cakes that my mother would make (I always wanted angel food), the Valentine candies from my grandparents, the red, pink, and white, the friends, the trivia, the piñatas, etc.


The Present:

I did have a party this year!  I worked this weekend (or took the night off Sunday).  Perhaps I will try to celebrate with my friends next weekend when I am off.  Of course, I don’t have to celebrate.  There are plenty of adults who quietly let their birthday pass by each year.  But, my birthday invigorates and inspires me.  It motivates me to get outdoors,  do more fitness, wear red, indulge in my favorite things, and have fun.  It makes February a special time of year.  With that said, I hope that I have many more happy birthday memories in the years to come!

 

12 Things I did for My Birthday: 2017

 

 

12 Things I did for My Birthday: 2017

H. Bradford

2/12/2017

   Today is my birthday, which is normally a pretty big deal.  However, I have been very busy lately.  As such, celebrating my birthday feels a little more like a chore this year.  It is just one more thing to add to my “to do” list.  Yet, I really want to push myself to celebrate.  I feel that I have been in a black hole of work and activism, so taking time to celebrate is a very important “to do” list for the month of February.   With that said, here are some of the things that I did this weekend for my birthday.  Of course, my birthday celebrations usually last the entire month of February, so this is just a sample of what the month has in store for me.  Why bother?  Well, I happen to like being alive.  I won’t always be alive…so I best enjoy it while I can!  I won’t lie, this year’s birthday weekend was a little less fabulous than most years.  But, I did my best to make the most of it.

1. Worked:

Ten hours of my birthday consisted of working.  This isn’t the most fun way to spend a birthday.    Work has been a little stressful this weekend.  I can’t go into details, but I work at a domestic violence shelter and things can get a little stressful at work.  So, yep, there you go, I spent a good portion of my birthday working.

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2. Felt Sick to my Stomach

I worked on Saturday night, but felt sort of bloated and gross.  My stomach discomfort continued on Sunday.  I could not sleep well.  The howling wind outside of my window and my heavy stomach kept me awake.  I could hear the crows cawing in the creaking trees outside.  I even had a dream that there was a giant crow in my bedroom window.  In the dream, I debated if it was a crow or a raven.  The thicker beak and wedge shaped tale told my dream brain that it was actually a raven.   In any event, I had planned on going to a Darwin Day celebration hosted by the Lake Superior Freethinkers.  That was supposed to be the highlight of my actual birthday.  However, my stomach felt unhappy, so I decided to stay in bed.  I actually called in sick to work because I felt that if I moved around too much, I might become sicker.  I try not to call in sick, but I figured that I didn’t have to push myself through a shift on my birthday.   Thus, aside from working, I spent a good portion of my birthday in bed.  Thankfully, my stomach eventually felt less icky (after 12 hours in bed).

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“Caw, caw, wake up!  Wake up!  Will you throw up?  Is it just diarrhea? Caw, caw!”


 

3. Drank Tea:

Wow, who would have known that February 12th is Hot Tea Appreciation Day?!  At least it has been hot tea appreciation day since it was established in 2016.  I certainly appreciate tea.  It is my caffeinated drink of choice.   While working on Saturday night, I took time to drink some Bhakti brand Fiery Masala Chai tea while at work (I really like the flavor of this tea, which we actually have for residents).  Well, whoopee I drank some tea.  Still, sometimes having hot tea is like a bubble bath for my innards.  It is the little things in life.


4. Read:

I’ve been pretty good about reading lately.  On Friday, I finished a really interesting book about the environment history of Russia.  Saturday, I started on a very short book.  It is Anton’ Treuer’s Ojibwe in Minnesota.    The book is a very quick read that offers a basic overview of Ojibwe history in Minnesota.  Here are a few interesting facts:  1. The 1898 Battle of Sugar Point at Leech Lake was the last conflict between a U.S. tribe and the military. 2. Ponemah on the Red Lake Reservation has never held a Christian funeral.  3. The Ojibwe and Dakota formed an alliance, wherein they shared territory and were at peace for 57 years- before the better known conflicts after 1736.

 

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5. Full Moon Snow Shoe Hike:

On Friday, in celebration of my birthday weekend, I went on a full moon snowshoe hike with UWS’ outdoor adventure program.  I signed up at the last minute and wasn’t sure if I wanted to attend a three hour snowshoeing excursion before working a 10 hour shift.  I went anyway.  The night was lovely.  At the beginning of the trip, the sky was clear and the temperature was about 35 degrees F.  The outing offered me a good view of the full moon (which was experiencing a partial eclipse) as well as some wintry constellations like Orion, canis major, Taurus, Gemini, etc.  Because the moon was slightly dimmed by the eclipse, the constellations were easier to spot than during a regular full moon.  The snowshoe hike itself was along Lake Superior on Wisconsin Point.  We clambered up the ice hill along the lake and continued that precarious path for about an hour before turning around and heading back.  I imagined that I was walking along a glacier or ice cap in Greenland as I carefully trod across the small mound of snow and ice.  It was fun, but it wore me out!  Thankfully, I survived my night shift on Friday night.


 

6. Watched Documentaries:

 

Since I took Sunday night off of work,  I had some free time for some sedentary activity.  I filled this time by watching documentaries and videos about the “stan” countries on YouTube.  I am planning on traveling to several of the “stan” countries this summer, so I have been reading about them lately.  I read a book about the Great Game in January and finished a book about early communist policies regarding the stans earlier this month.  I read a book about the Silk Road in December.  I am slowly increasing my knowledge of the stans, which I will meet in person in June.  Anyway, on Sunday night I watched a BBC travel series about the “stans.”  I also watched a short video about Turkmenbashi, the former dictator of Turkmenistan and another short news video about upcoming elections in Turkmenistan.   I have enjoyed learning about this region of the world.  Nevertheless, like always, I have some anxiety about the upcoming trip.  I worry the most about health, but also the conditions of travel.  This trip will involve overland travel and camping.  The camping conditions will be more rustic and challenging than my previous trip to southern Africa.  Am I up to the challenge?  On the bright side, I will probably get to see part of the Aral Sea and the giant gas crater in Turkmenistan.

 

Gas crater

 


7. Fed the Squirrels:

After finishing work on Sunday morning, I decided to head to the grocery store to pick up a few items.  I decided to pick up some hazelnuts and leave them out for the squirrels in my yard.  I know that Flappy’s favorite food was hazelnuts.  Thus, the nuts were a little Valentine’s treat for my squirrel friends.  I love squirrels.  Happy Valentine’s Day to my favorite rodents!

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8. Went for a Walk:

I went for a walk with Dan in the Superior Municipal Forest on Saturday evening.  I didn’t actually want to walk, as my stomach was already starting to feel a little iffy.  But, it was nice to be outside and I felt better once I was walking.  I chalked the iffy stomach up to nerves or stress from a busy weekend at work.  Perhaps that is all it was?  Perhaps it was just a very mild bug?  Who knows.


 

9. Ate Mexican Food:

After taking a walk on Saturday, Dan and I went to Guadalajara Restaurant.  I really like Mexican food.  After eating, I felt bloated and that feeling didn’t go away for about 24 hours.  I don’t think that this is what made me feel ill today, but probably added to my uneasy stomach.   Oh well, it was worth it since I really do like Mexican food…


10. Drank Lime La Croix:

So, two of my twelve activities involve drinking.  While most people probably have a drink on their birthday, it probably isn’t tea and lime sparkling water.   Well, I am a teetotaler.  I have never drank an alcoholic beverage in my life.  Oddly enough, I have not smoked a cigarette or tried an illegal drug.  I am not against these things and don’t look down upon people who do these things, but when you haven’t done them there is a certain momentum to maintaining the identity of a teetotaler.   And, I have plenty of other vices…such as junk food.  However, my drinks of choice remain unsweetened tea and lime La Croix.  I was very happy to find 100 cans of La Croix in the kitchen when I finally rolled out of bed today!  Thanks Adam.   February 12th should also be Lime La Croix appreciation day.

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11. Booked a Trip to a Sloth Sanctuary

Next November, Dan and I are going on a trip.  We haven’t been anywhere together for about seven years.  He rarely gets time off of work and really isn’t that interested in travel.  Thus, for the most part, I travel alone.  However, in November 2017, he was able to take some time off of work, so we are going to go on a cruise.  While this trip is a long while away, I booked a trip to visit a sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica today.  I thought it would be a small way to prepare for that trip and brighten my mood about being sick.   I am more of a squirrel person and Dan’s favorite animals are toads.  Still, sloths are really cute.  And, my bloated, slow digesting stomach…coupled with my lack of energy….certainly makes me feel like a sloth today.

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12. Wrote a Blog Post

Last year I wrote a blog post about 12 things I did for my birthday.  I didn’t work on my birthday last year…and I wasn’t sick, so I had a bit more time/ability to do fun things.  Despite it all, I think I successfully managed to squeeze some birthday fun out of my weekend.  Perhaps it isn’t the most fun I’ve had for my birthday, but the month isn’t over!

Getting Older

My birthday month is coming to an end.  I enjoy my birthday, but there is also a certain melancholy with growing older.  I really celebrated my birthday this year.  I wrote cards, drank chai tea, went to the planetarium, went for a run, visited family, had a fun birthday party with friends, and enjoyed art.   The finale was a snowshoe hike/star gazing session with UMD’s RSOP.  It was fun to enjoy the woods at night and awkwardly clamber up a snowy hill to view a clear night sky at Harley Nature Center.  I was the only community member in the group, so I felt like an old weirdo among the young college kids!  I have a great deal to be thankful for: health, energy, youthfulness, friends, relatives, curiosity, and fun.

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(The giant cupcake that Jenny made for my b-day)

Despite the many things I am thankful for, I’ve been in a state of existential crisis since about age 23.  How does one live?  How does one live well?  What is the right path to take in life?  I think about these questions almost everyday, making lists and inventing myths about the person I want to be.  Living is hard.  There are a smorgasbord of possible experiences.  Even if a person was not limited by class, gender, sexuality, race, age, ability, etc. we are limited by a finite amount of time.  We live… then we die, and its over.  What makes for a good life?


Birthdays are a reminder of mortality.  My time is short and I have exhausted so much of it.  Have I wasted it?  Could I have done something differently?  Am I on the right trajectory?   Maybe the formula is quite simple.  For many people, life consists of getting married, having kids, owning a house, saving for retirement, and the many good memories with friends and families.  For others, this formula may be flavored by a career or perhaps the career is an end unto itself.  There are a few people who are adventurers, who never settle, moving from place to place for new adventures and a carefree life.  I am none of these people.  I have never wanted a house.  I don’t want a nice car.  I don’t want children, nor could I afford them if I did want them.  I don’t want to be married.  A career might be nice, but I happy to have a job that I find meaningful.  My mundane life of work and school is sometimes punctuated by adventures, but these are an oasis and not the norm.  Is there something else?  Something more to do?
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 (What more could I ask for?  Friends, cake, balloons, flowers, a fake squirrel…)
So, here I am.  I never had a realistic vision for my future.   With the same realism as a preschooler who envisions that they will grow up to be a donut with sprinkles, as I was growing up, I figured that I would be a super villain, riding on the shoulder of a giant mulch monster that I created with my advanced botanical powers/knowledge.  I am not sure why I was a villain.  I definitely have not obtained my Ph.d in evil plant science.  Maybe we can all be glad that I didn’t turn out to be a villain, crushing buildings and all that oppose me.  And, there is always time for the botany.  And, it’s never too late for the green hair.  Or the Ph.D.  That’s something.  Whatever I am, I am not a villain.
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Getting older is bittersweet.  When I was younger, I would celebrate with large birthday parties, but many of my friends have moved.  I stand still.  Of course, I still have friends, but I do feel that the world moves around me.  I have seen many people move many directions, towards careers and towards families.  Getting older is also a little bittersweet because of the emphasis on youthfulness.  I am not a glowing, thin, young person.  I am still young-ish, but there are markers of a new era in life.  I don’t feel as pretty as I did at 25.   It shouldn’t matter, but I have internalized to some degree the expectation that women shouldn’t age.

I guess, I am always left feeling that I should be MORE.  Maybe it is a cultural mentality that more is better.  Even the magazine for older women is called More.  (Oddly enough, this magazine will be no more in April).  What more should I be?  More accomplished, more fit, more dynamic…more successful.  Successful how?  Perhaps published…working on grand things like books and papers.  Working on a Ph.D.?  A professor?  Multilingual?  More talented.  More of an activist.  More of a leader.  More responsible.  More future oriented.  An expert at something.  A polymath at several things.  More admirable and interesting.  Is it to much to ask that I could just suddenly become a vibrant, creative, revolutionary socialist feminist leader…scholar…activist…world traveler…confident…multifaceted…scientist…environmentalist…fantasy author…artist…runner…bicyclist…riding on the shoulder of a giant mulch monster…crushing patriarchy and capitalism with her awesomeness …an awesomeness that nothing MORE can be added to?

In the end, I have a good life.  I am not always sure that my choices were the right ones or that I am living as one should, but I am generally happy.  Although some people might deem it excessive and wasteful, I am thankful for my travels.  This year, I will reach 50 countries that I have visited.  I find this important, even if numbers don’t matter that much.  I always wanted to see the world.  I can’t wait to see more of it.  Although it is also excessive and could easily be critiqued as irresponsible, wasteful, and pointless, I am proud that I will finish my 4th degree this year, even if it isn’t a Ph.D. and I always attended local colleges (for the most part).  And, I am thankful for the activism, few good friends, my garden, my job, my health, my hobbies, my books, and some of the interesting experiences I’ve had.  This all seems pretty small!  It seems that everyone accomplishes so much…MORE.  (Yes, I have a stilted perception of the world that everyone is somehow a super star doing everything awesomely, while I just muck around in the mud.  Working with people who struggle to finish high school or find even a job unfortunately does not mitigate this distortion.)   Anyway, as I grow older, I certainly feel a strong sense of mediocrity, but most people don’t live and die as superstars or super heroes.  Some die as obscure weirdos.

12 Things I did on my B-Day

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My birthday is February 12th, the same as Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin.   I enjoy celebrating my birthday, so here is an over view of how I spent the day.

  1. 3 Mile Jog:  One of the first things I did today was go on a jog at the track at UWS.  I am not fast and I haven’t jogged since x-mas.  In anticipation of unhealthy indulgences, it was a good way to start the day.
  2. Passport Renewal:  My passport does not actual expire until 2019, but it is already full!  I was running out of blank pages and the State Department no longer offers to add pages for you.  So, off to the post office with hope for future travels and an unflattering photo that will mark my passport for 10 years.1336500007861
  3. Ice Sculpture: Some people think it is a waste of money and an eye sore, but I like it.  What better way to spend a subzero day than with a giant ice sculpture?  I like that it reminds me of a cave, due to the ice resembling stalactites.DSCF2593
  4. Filled out Valentine’s Day cards and sent them off!
  5. Drank a chai latte at the Red Mug.  I did this while writing the cards.  Several months ago, I didn’t like chai or chai latte.  There was too much flavor going on.  Over time and attempts of drinking them, I have grown to like it.DSCF2595
  6. Visit the library: this was a fun, free activity.  I left with some garden and travel books.
  7.  Duluth Labor History Art Reception at Red Herring Lounge.  How could I pass up artwork that was inspired by Duluth labor history?!  The art was by Robert Adams.  I don’t know art history well enough to describe the art, but following the topic, it was very geometric and industrial.  It reminded me of Soviet art or WPA art.  Maybe a bit like Soviet modernism, with strict lines and focus on architectural structures.  The art also seemed to make use of tape or plastic, which made it unique.  Again, I don’t know enough about art or art history to do credit to the style.12552964_10207265507052524_4738820122576273646_n                                        (Photo was from Red Herring Lounge Facebook Event)
  8. UMD Planetarium: The topic tonight was Voyager I and II.  It was a retro topic with a retro video voiced by Patrick Stewart.  It was interesting to learn how the Voyagers communicated with Earth.  They used radio signals, but these were so faint that multiple, giant saucer like radio receivers had to be used to pick up the signal.  Then, the signal had to be isolated from the background radiation of space?  Images were sent back as dots, which were translated into images.   The video was made in 1989.  In the end, it discussed the Voyagers journeying on into interstellar space, their signals becoming a whisper until they go quiet.   The scientific instruments will slowly lose power and it will float on, perhaps passing Gleise 445 in 40,000 years.  There’s a happy b-day thought.  A dead machine floating forever in space.  pia17046_-_voyager_1_goes_interstellar
  9. Pizza Hut with my pal, Adam.   We were by UMD, so we went to Pizza Hut.  I had breadsticks.  In a way, it reminded me of being a kid-as Pizza Hut was really exciting back then.  In more recent years, my gut can’t handle the grease.
  10. Trying to figure out a cruise.  I was supposed to go on a cruise with my sister in law, Tiffany.  However, something has come up so she must cancel.  I still plan on going, but I am trying to figure out how to cancel her without having to pay terrible fees (which I thought I avoided by getting the trip protection plan).  Anyway, if it all works out, I will be going to Barbados, Grenada, St. Lucia, Trinidad and Tobago, and St. Kitts in April.  I regret that I will be traveling alone…again!  But, I am sure I will have a fun time. 2333b930b5ef2e1cd62e519387b5b058
  11. Looked at my library books.  Well, this can be fun!  I have one on 1001 gardens to see before you die.
  12. Wrote a blog post about 12 things I did.

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